I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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