He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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