I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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