Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
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