I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
