Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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