so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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