Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
