And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
