everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
