Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
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then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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