I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
