Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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