Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
