I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
