i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
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