I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
