Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
