Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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