If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Damn victory sex feels great
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
