No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
