I think I died a long time ago.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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