i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
