I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Randomize
