Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
