and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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