Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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