we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
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