I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
