2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
