And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
