The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
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