addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
