If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Non-Jews are for practice
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
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