Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I forgot how hot balto sounded
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
i think i just lost a toe
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