If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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