Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
