He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
