so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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