Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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