As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
