Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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