im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
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