Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
he puts the penis in happiness.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
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I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
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I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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