I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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