Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
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thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
You made out with two different species that night
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
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My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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