Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
