I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I just want to make out with him forever
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
