Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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