Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
