Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
We don't watch enough power rangers
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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