Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
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