That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
