Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Blood and glitter go together right?
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
