i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
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