Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
