Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
