so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
