I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
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